Regret

It's broken.
There lie fragments where once stood a composite whole.
No glue will reconnect its parts,
There is no repair,
Only regret.

The trust and belief have gone.
What lie before us are not recognisable pieces,
Each with their correct place, to be reassembled with patient care,
Rather, the inner fabric has been destroyed,
Leaving the whole to collapse where it stood.

Were you to believe that I could not mean such hurt,
Then you could accept some other explanation:
My mistake; my misunderstanding; even carelessness.
Once you believe me capable of such intent,
Then all excuse is seen to be deception;
All reassurance, flattery;
And all care and concern, hypocracy.

And so, I can offer you nothing.
Save my respect, which seems to you so empty;
Save my silence, which seems sullen disregard;
Save my sincere apologies, which seem unmeant and too late;
And nothing more, which seems to confirm all of the above.

My dear, my distant dear, I am more sorry than you know.

Nik Trevallyn-Jones, 1996.